Friday, May 31, 2013

Even Guardian readers want gays to shut the fuck up

Apparently they're not really gay
READERS of the Guardian have joined the rest of Britain in asking gay activists to stop whinging about fucking everything.

Nikki Hollis, 28, told, “My gay friends are well-dressed, happy, go on fantastic holidays and are always telling me about the red-hot sex they’re having. But every time I open the Guardian there’s some po-faced activist grumbling about what a shit deal they’ve got. I opposed Clause 28, marched for civil partnerships and signed a petition for gay marriage. What more do they want?”

But Tom Logan, a full-time gay from Shoreditch, said, “I looked on the Guardian’s website last Thursday and there wasn’t a single story about gays on the front page. This is just how Nazi Germany started.”

Wayne Hayes from the Institute For Studies explained, “Gays were oppressed for so long that they’ve forgotten that some things have nothing to do with being persecuted. Stonewall needs to realise that nobody hates them for being gay. People hate them for being pompous, miserable, boring, self-righteous cunts.”

Meanwhile Emma Bradford from Wakefield said, “It’s getting ridiculous. I logged on to for a glimpse of some hot guys and there was just a blank screen with a message saying all the gays had gone to Westminster to demand that Musical Theatre Studies replace Geography on the National Curriculum. I asked my husband to check and he came back five hours later to say that all the lesbian sites were still up. Apparently the girls aren’t really lesbians. Who knew?”

With apologies to the Daily Mash

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